At what point does a woman decide on the green light for a relationship or better yet, when does a man let you know that it’s more than just sex? Am I alone in thinking this?
Someone told me that I am desperately looking for a relationship and until I find the man who started this mission, I will be in search forever. Apparently, at the back of my mind, I’m comparing everyone to this one man.
But then my next question is, what if I’m simply looking for a best friend who could potentially become a boyfriend? Would that not make more sense?Then it wouldn’t seem so desperate? We’re all looking for that awesome connection with that one person. And the Love involved is genuine. Wouldn’t you rather befriend someone and wind up marrying them 2-3 years down the road? Or going on a million little dates trying to define where you stand for the 3 weeks that follow with each different guy (if you have that option to choose from…first dates sometimes don’t evolve into more.)
This guy was telling me about how I’m throwing myself at men in order to find attention-Short-term to try to fix my yearning for something Long-term. Then! He went on to say that women have all the power.I was laying in his bed giving him a massage while he was telling me this…as if he were telling me something simple like how he wanted cake for his birthday. Men! And as he spoke, I’m sure he could feel when his words perturbed me. Thank goodness for nails!!! That’s all I have to say on that topic.
Ever notice how damaged people like to make you question your life? Let me tell you, I will not go into this blindly from this point on.
Earlier this week, I went to play pool with some friends from work. We go every Saturday night (if I’m not working). It’s Maverick, Dane, and Dane’s Girlfriend and myself. The guys usually play pool and I stare off into space because naturally I don’t get along with other women. These things happen… Maverick will let me play a game with him where he’ll point out where to aim and what not..how to hold the stick. Yadda Yadda… This particular Saturday, He was being aggressive and cold with me. I couldn’t figure out why. I just continued checking out the other guys in the bar as if everything was normal.
Dane mentioned a Sex on the Beach when I had first arrived- this caught my interest. See I had never tried one. So! Before his girlfriend arrived, Dane ordered two. Maverick saw this and told him that I was his [Property of Maverick] territory and that he [Dane] should back-off.
I’ve had a thing for Maverick… He’s like Ben.. along the same lines.. but more realistic and tangible. Regardless, he still claimed me. This threw me off guard because he had been strange with me all night. Dane then downed his drink in seconds and walked away. Of course, Mav had been curious about the connection with me and Dane… and after asking the obvious questions he found out that we were simply friends and that I enjoyed talking to him. Maverick went back to normal. All was well.
Dane recently texted me that he broke things off with his girlfriend and that he’d like to be with me. That’s material for another blog. It’ll be a short one. haha!
A salsa song came on over the speakers and, before I could resist, Mav had me up on my toes spinning me around between the billiard tables. It was as if he was the only one in the whole bar. The world stopped. I could no longer hear the music as he swayed me… I had never felt this way before. Following our breathtaking dance, I texted him “You make me crazy” which he then showed to everyone as Dane’s girlfriend showed up. Then! Icing on the cake… He introduced us. See dialogue below to understand…
Maverick: This is Vanessa, she works in the building with you. [Looking from me to Vanessa] And Vanessa,
this is the girl to whom Dane just paid a drink for…a Sex on the Beach…[Maverick exits scene leaving
both of us in utter shock.]
What just happened?! He brought me up and dropped me like a yo-yo. Why do men do this?!?!?!?!
And men wonder why women are so complex and complicated when it comes to relationships. Do they know what they’re doing in the process?
After telling this story to the guy as mentioned above, he deduced that I was looking for a relationship. How so? Apparently, I’m over-romanticizing… Don’t all girls do that? We did grow up with Fairy Princess stories and Prince Charming…Or Ken with the perfect Body! How is it that we have all the power, but at the same time men have the opportunity to play with our emotions so much? And you know, half the things that seem to bother us don’t even phase them. I don’t understand.
Is Bob right? He mentioned that he feels as though I’m simply settling for him because of my need for a relationship. Is he simply playing with my mind in order to gain the upper hand? I must have looked like a vulnerable sap tonight when I was trying to defend myself. I ended the conversation by putting my clothes back on, giving him a quick kiss, and telling him that he’s not the only one that I’m seeing; we all have needs relationship exclusivity or not. And I walked out of his door, waved to his roommate, and left. If he wants more out of this… he’ll have to put more effort in. 5 days… no Bob!
All this to say… Men shouldn’t have the power to make you question yourself it’s all on what you let penetrate your mental castle. You have to build that brick wall so high that only things that meet your standards can breach it. Be the best version of yourself and trust in you no matter what anyone tells you.
Bob is an interesting character. I’m beginning to think that he’s damaged beyond what I had anticipated. He may not be someone I want to let my heart chase after. We’ll see. He asked for curtains again..
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