Old Pearls

My grandmother used to tell me that when she dated men, she would never chase. Her one boyfriend said to her after 7 months of being together, “You know I don’t think you have ever called me.” We live in a society that has a need to have everything instantly. If we chase too much men will lose their need to hunt leading to boredom in the relationship. My grandmother wasn’t a stupid woman in her time as a vixen. She married 3 men, and dated more than you can imagine. Maybe it’s time we get to know our family routes and figure out some of that old wisdom. I’ve found that it works more so than not. Not all men are wired the same way, but most enjoy being beaten off with a stick. They always come running back for more. For one week starting today, I will not send out the first text, or make the initial call to any men!

Make the boy chase you, until you catch him.

It is a known fact that men are mommy’s little boys , and women are daddy’s little princesses . The key word is princess . Women like to be cherished, respected, loved, and most of all, showered with attention. So that is what men should give women; attention.

Avalina

For those of you who don’t believe in that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of love… It exists. We literally had a virtual relationship? Phone sex included. ;- ) It was perfect. If only it would have been actually me. This man was so real and I twisted him. Lead him on. Lied to him.

About a year ago, I had created an alter-ego. I was 5’4″, blonde, lean… fearless femme fatale. I met a guy online, and we ended up falling in love with each other. Over 7 months, we spent 3-6 hours a day on the phone and never met. He would call me at 7:01 every morning on his way to work, and the train would go through this tunnel around 7:26 where the phone would cut off… usually mid-I-Love-You. Then we he would call me back at 7:35 depending sometimes 7:37… Wonderful way to start your day. I loved him, what I knew of him through the receiver of my phone.

Eventually, i had to get creative with my stories because he was on to me. I could feel it. I told him I was pregnant with twins. We had tried to break things off several times, we just couldn’t get enough of each other. He even started seeing someone else while he was in love with Ava. It was eating at me, tearing me apart. I would cry after hours of speaking with him. Love? Joy? Sadness? Helplessness? I was so involved in this lie that I didn’t know how to get out of it without hurting either of us.

He had mentioned to me that he was coming to my town to play poker. The Mohawk Casino just happened to be minutes from my house. I wrote a quick letter with lyrics to a song we were both naming our own. I called one of my close friends, and we drove over to Poker Playground. He had told what kind of car he drove and that he had recently hit a yellow cement pillar. My friend and I drove in circles trying to find it. Finally, when we did, I skipped over and placed the envelop in the door handle. This was the closest Ava had ever been to her lover.

He called to invite me over, and when I refused… He got quiet.
He had the letter in his hand, which I had sprayed with my CocoChanel.

I had to tell him.

7 months had gone by. How had I let this happen.

At this point, as I was trying to hold back tears telling him the story about what had happened, I couldn’t help but think how intoxicating the perfume must have been for him to bear.

Earlier in the week, He had set up a rendez-vous point. We were to meet at a mall and enter from different entrances. We would then call each other, and meet up somewhere in the middle. This way we were both already well into the conversation that nothing would be awkward. He even included a map with colors indicating our separate routes.

After I laid all my cards on the table, I told him that I would follow his instructions if he could find it in his heart to meet me. He said that he would be there. 12 sharp.

I saw him sitting in his car. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I called him. I could hear that he was frustrated in his voice. Angry. Upset. This mad my heart race. Was it going to be a confrontation between the two of us? I was already feeling vulnerable.

He walked up to me. His eyes were cold as ice.

I looked at him, stern. cold. poker face. But I couldn’t hold it for very long.

He hugged me. And told me everything was alright.

We saw each other a few times, but it wasn’t the same. He had called me a few weeks later at 3am. Our usual time, and it was strange. He called once more following our last date. He was upset, and had manged to cry himself to sleep. His last words to me were, “I don’t even know why I called you.”

I was obviously devastated. I had developed real feeling for this man, who didn’t even know the real me. It hurt and to this day, no one has measured up to Michel.

It’s his birthday today. What to do…this time last year, I was on the phone with him celebrating his 27th…this year….

Regardless of the reasoning, I managed to break this man’s heart. I still think about him and wonder if I even deserve his forgiveness.

How do you fix something like this?

Alpha Female

Men like the chase. As soon as you give them everything, they will get lazy. It’s proven fact.. Although we’re living in a world of equality and women have to open their own doors, step in puddles and pay for half of the dinner… somehow we find ourselves still coming out on top. We have something that men crave and all in all need. Ever see a man go without sex for more then a week? Worse than a woman on pms. Somehow women can get by without having a man in their lives. We have each other, and that physical touch can come from another woman to fill our need for warmth and affection. Men on the other hand can’t hug each other and get off. It doesn’t work that way. Despite everything society throws at us, we fall back to habit and tradition. If you present yourself in a certain way, a man will treat you as you wish to be treated. If you show yourself off like a piece of meat… he will devour you and throw out the bone with the trash the next day, never thinking of you again. Women use physical attraction to win over men’s emotions; and Men use emotions to win over a woman’s physical feats.

http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/dating1.html

Never back down ladies. Keep your man in wanting. He will keep crawling back, no matter how often you send him away. He likes it 😉

The last few of my posts have been negative. I’ve had some feedback on my “failing love life;” and, honestly, I don’t see it as failure. Every person is different and the more you get to know someone, the more you can control a situation. In the last year, I have set out to date as many guys as possibly. Whether it be at the same time, or weeks apart. I want to know what makes a man tick and why it does just so. I’ve outlines a few of my favorite guys, Mr. 17yr old daughter, Mr. Hoarder….They will keep coming. Despite the fact that I broke things off with them, it was a great learning curve! Someone at the age of 40 is just as vulnerable as someone who is 20 if you dangle something they want in their face. Of course, I date guys with a certain amount of tact, class, and etiquette. Safety first. Overall, you have to lure him in and then bait him as often as you can… don’t tease! Follow through… but be subtle.. and go at a deathly slow rate. If he wants more right away and gives you an ultimatum, Dump That Dude! A real man will be patient… as you drive him crazy with your seduction and feminism.

I believe that there is more than just The One. I believe that we have been created to find a type of person. If not, we would all be dating and marrying the wrong people all the time creating a domino effect. So as you date, remember the feats that you enjoyed, why you said yes to that first date, and keep them marked somewhere. When you date again, you look for those and all that is left to finding your perfect man 😉

Be Fabulous!!