Take what you want…

Who knew women possessed so much power? With a wink of an eye, or a simple slip of a finger, we can have a man begging for us. Is there really anything more desirable in this world than to have the warmth of a woman? I think not. Men find themselves chasing us, involuntarily…unaware of such gestures. As much as we are living in a world of equality, there is still something so precious about us. Whether we have to open our own doors, or pay for half the dinner- Men want us.

Is it still a game if we’re equal? How to you play tug of war if you’re both on the same side?

Life of Emma in Britain!

A Drop in the Ocean

Totally Ludacris Pt. One

I’m currently sitting at my kitchen table munching on Simple Pleasures cookies with milk. It is Day 3 of “In a Relationship” on Facebook.My best friend told me that I absolutely had to post this story… so here goes!

His name is Andreas, he’s Greek. Did I mention that he drives a Lexus or that he owns two major restaurants here in Montreal? Of course not, because I’m getting ahead of myself. We’ll save that story for another day. What’s even more interesting is what happened just before Andreas asked me to be his Girlfriend.

I’ve been frequenting this bar for a little while now. One of my best friends who will be featured somewhere on this page is a BusBoy there. We’ve fooled around a few times… but he’s played with my head so much that I’ve managed to lose ALL interest in him as a future mate. One minute he loved me, the next he told me there was no spark, and then a week later asked me if I wanted to suck his cock. See what I mean?

Regardless! There is a bouncer who caught my eye. Bigger guy, 6 foot forever… tattoos, mohawk… Bad-Boy. His name is Bob. Not my usual blonde-blue-eyed-babe, but he’s charming with edge. Friday night, I went to his place for a quickie before he had to work. Being the good girl that I am, I picked up a six-pack of his favorite beer and slipped off my thong and panty-hoes before I got up to his apartment. Bonus points for me right? He was in the shower with the door open when I arrived. He was in a mood. Rough. Fast. Hard…. Need I say more?

He told me to come in… and that he had his towel on… As soon as I opened the door, a burst of steam hit me, and he was there… nonchalantly holding a towel in front of him.. which was soon on the floor. He took me by the hair and pinned me against the inside of the shower, holding me by my neck with this devious look. He lifted my dress and instantly looked pleased. Bob then took a step back and told me to take everything off. Which I did, under his careful eye, until he couldn’t take it anymore, and he lifted me and put his full length into me. No warning… nothing. Of course I dug my nails into his back at the surprise! Then he let me down and told me to sprint to the bedroom where he fucked me so hard I had a black out from cumming 3 or 4 times in a row with no time for recovery between each.

Bob flipped me over, and asked me where I wanted him to cum. Without hesitation, I positioned my face to hang off the bed with my mouth open where he covered my lips and tongue; and I swallowed every last drop.

Bob then got strange… I had had a great time. And he went into deep, pensive, I-am-a-complex-man frame of mind. After sex, I’ll be honest… you had better cuddle me. I don’t care how you feel. I need to be held and told that I’m amazing, beautiful, sexy, tight… something. Bob put his shoes on and told me to drive him to work. And when my mood changed, he told me that matching his mood would only hurt me in the end.

We drove in silence.  Put on my best grunge, screamo, heavy death metal music… full volume and left him on the corner.

This is where the story begins.

Cold shower time?

What if I told you that I let a guy cum in my mouth and then made out with another guy 2 hours later?

Hehe! Oops!!

Avalina

For those of you who don’t believe in that can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars over the fence, world series kind of love… It exists. We literally had a virtual relationship? Phone sex included. ;- ) It was perfect. If only it would have been actually me. This man was so real and I twisted him. Lead him on. Lied to him.

About a year ago, I had created an alter-ego. I was 5’4″, blonde, lean… fearless femme fatale. I met a guy online, and we ended up falling in love with each other. Over 7 months, we spent 3-6 hours a day on the phone and never met. He would call me at 7:01 every morning on his way to work, and the train would go through this tunnel around 7:26 where the phone would cut off… usually mid-I-Love-You. Then we he would call me back at 7:35 depending sometimes 7:37… Wonderful way to start your day. I loved him, what I knew of him through the receiver of my phone.

Eventually, i had to get creative with my stories because he was on to me. I could feel it. I told him I was pregnant with twins. We had tried to break things off several times, we just couldn’t get enough of each other. He even started seeing someone else while he was in love with Ava. It was eating at me, tearing me apart. I would cry after hours of speaking with him. Love? Joy? Sadness? Helplessness? I was so involved in this lie that I didn’t know how to get out of it without hurting either of us.

He had mentioned to me that he was coming to my town to play poker. The Mohawk Casino just happened to be minutes from my house. I wrote a quick letter with lyrics to a song we were both naming our own. I called one of my close friends, and we drove over to Poker Playground. He had told what kind of car he drove and that he had recently hit a yellow cement pillar. My friend and I drove in circles trying to find it. Finally, when we did, I skipped over and placed the envelop in the door handle. This was the closest Ava had ever been to her lover.

He called to invite me over, and when I refused… He got quiet.
He had the letter in his hand, which I had sprayed with my CocoChanel.

I had to tell him.

7 months had gone by. How had I let this happen.

At this point, as I was trying to hold back tears telling him the story about what had happened, I couldn’t help but think how intoxicating the perfume must have been for him to bear.

Earlier in the week, He had set up a rendez-vous point. We were to meet at a mall and enter from different entrances. We would then call each other, and meet up somewhere in the middle. This way we were both already well into the conversation that nothing would be awkward. He even included a map with colors indicating our separate routes.

After I laid all my cards on the table, I told him that I would follow his instructions if he could find it in his heart to meet me. He said that he would be there. 12 sharp.

I saw him sitting in his car. I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I called him. I could hear that he was frustrated in his voice. Angry. Upset. This mad my heart race. Was it going to be a confrontation between the two of us? I was already feeling vulnerable.

He walked up to me. His eyes were cold as ice.

I looked at him, stern. cold. poker face. But I couldn’t hold it for very long.

He hugged me. And told me everything was alright.

We saw each other a few times, but it wasn’t the same. He had called me a few weeks later at 3am. Our usual time, and it was strange. He called once more following our last date. He was upset, and had manged to cry himself to sleep. His last words to me were, “I don’t even know why I called you.”

I was obviously devastated. I had developed real feeling for this man, who didn’t even know the real me. It hurt and to this day, no one has measured up to Michel.

It’s his birthday today. What to do…this time last year, I was on the phone with him celebrating his 27th…this year….

Regardless of the reasoning, I managed to break this man’s heart. I still think about him and wonder if I even deserve his forgiveness.

How do you fix something like this?

Words of Monroe

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
— Marilyn Monroe

Alpha Female

Men like the chase. As soon as you give them everything, they will get lazy. It’s proven fact.. Although we’re living in a world of equality and women have to open their own doors, step in puddles and pay for half of the dinner… somehow we find ourselves still coming out on top. We have something that men crave and all in all need. Ever see a man go without sex for more then a week? Worse than a woman on pms. Somehow women can get by without having a man in their lives. We have each other, and that physical touch can come from another woman to fill our need for warmth and affection. Men on the other hand can’t hug each other and get off. It doesn’t work that way. Despite everything society throws at us, we fall back to habit and tradition. If you present yourself in a certain way, a man will treat you as you wish to be treated. If you show yourself off like a piece of meat… he will devour you and throw out the bone with the trash the next day, never thinking of you again. Women use physical attraction to win over men’s emotions; and Men use emotions to win over a woman’s physical feats.

http://ca.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/dating1.html

Never back down ladies. Keep your man in wanting. He will keep crawling back, no matter how often you send him away. He likes it 😉

The last few of my posts have been negative. I’ve had some feedback on my “failing love life;” and, honestly, I don’t see it as failure. Every person is different and the more you get to know someone, the more you can control a situation. In the last year, I have set out to date as many guys as possibly. Whether it be at the same time, or weeks apart. I want to know what makes a man tick and why it does just so. I’ve outlines a few of my favorite guys, Mr. 17yr old daughter, Mr. Hoarder….They will keep coming. Despite the fact that I broke things off with them, it was a great learning curve! Someone at the age of 40 is just as vulnerable as someone who is 20 if you dangle something they want in their face. Of course, I date guys with a certain amount of tact, class, and etiquette. Safety first. Overall, you have to lure him in and then bait him as often as you can… don’t tease! Follow through… but be subtle.. and go at a deathly slow rate. If he wants more right away and gives you an ultimatum, Dump That Dude! A real man will be patient… as you drive him crazy with your seduction and feminism.

I believe that there is more than just The One. I believe that we have been created to find a type of person. If not, we would all be dating and marrying the wrong people all the time creating a domino effect. So as you date, remember the feats that you enjoyed, why you said yes to that first date, and keep them marked somewhere. When you date again, you look for those and all that is left to finding your perfect man 😉

Be Fabulous!!

England

My most recent relationship had a very interesting twist. His name was Ben and he had a British accent. Do I need to repeat? Yum. Also, blonde… 6 foot forever… works on computers. I’m beginning to see a pattern, are you?

We met on Craigslist. I believe it was in the personals? Maybe? I don’t remember. We exchanged a few e-mails, when I finally decided that he was cool enough to ask for pictures. (In the cyber world, this is a serious move.) He was hot! WOah! I honestly didn’t know how to react to this. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers and I would melt every time he would call me with his accent.

Ben and I went on one date. He took me to St Laurent Street and told me to pick any restaurant my heart desired. This was a step up from hoarder and mister 42 year old. As the night went on, we managed to find a cute little restaurant tucked away on one of the side roads where we each had filet mignon and wine. By this point I was totally floored. Ben was like no other guy I had ever dated. Conversation was nice, our knees touched the entire time and I believe I started to fall for him at that very dinner table.

A few weeks later, we had tried to see each other, but our schedules weren’t working out very well. We spoke every day despite the lack of contact in person. This continued for a good 5 months.

Then…

• His phone couldn’t make phone calls from England… it could only text….
• He spilled coke on his laptop….and this damaged his camera…we could no longer skype/cam
• His phone stopped working completely…

I have to admit, I enjoyed the attention… but after that? Did he think I was a fool? This is my theory: He was married… with a wife, and was only here for a few weeks on a business trip. She decided to leave him, so he kept pursuing me. Meanwhile, mama bear was home with the kiddies and he was here having his fun. They decided to get back together, she let him move back in… so he gets quiet with  me…

A few e-mail excerpts:

Our last conversation was on July 21, it’s now July 25. 
I care about you, but I can’t go on like this.
Either we fix this, or we should move on.

Hmm I wasn’t expecting a message like that from you.
I left my skype on on my laptop and due to the wifi it was on and off all weekend so that probably annoyed you.
Over the weekend I was at my brothers stag party for his upcoming wedding.
You don’t seem very confident about us so that disheartens me and made me think.
Maybe we should just move on the, I’ve always felt like I am holding you back as it is.
You are a young girl, very sexy and I’m sure you had more male attention in the last few months than most of your life.
So how do you want me in your life? Do you want me in your life? Do you just want a sexual/play relationship, friends, never talk again? Lol Anyway this was an unpleasant surprise today

Hmm your lack of response and presence on skype/msn says a lot.
Obviously you are avoiding talking to me so I guess it is time for us to move on? Also I spent a lot of time talking to friends online and watching the news over the weekend as I lived in Oslo previously and have a lot of Norwegian friends.
Also my company is Norwegian so it’s a big deal to lots of people I know. [bomb earlier this year]

So you’re basically not going to talk to me or sort this out so I think we are both at a point where we know we need to move on.
You are a great girl but this isn’t realistic and I’m holding you back as it is. You are so young and don’t need someone jaded and bitter like me. It’s really up to you how you want me in your life, if you’d like to meet sometime, but I think as for a relationship we both know this isn’t working mainly for you. You aren’t happy and I cab tell so I don’t want you to be unhappy.
Have a good day Ava and don’t be sad 🙂 We had a lot of fun and maybe one day we can meet up, but you have a great time ahead of you, moving out experiencing the world and such. If you no longer want to keep in touch I understand.

 I`m glad you had a pleasant weekend, the wedding must be soon!!! You must be happy that you can attend now that you`re in England.  🙂 As for my initial e-mail: It was simply worrisome that I didn`t hear from you for a couple of days considering we`ve basically been in contact daily for the last few months. With everything going on with Norway, the shootings, the bombing, etc., it`s hard to stay calm knowing that you`re on that side of the world and the fact that your company is Norwegian.Don`t forget all I have is an e-mail for you now. We might as well be writing long-hand letters to each other…it would be more romantic haha I wasn`t annoyed. I just wanted to hear from you, I didn`t mean to come across intrusive.
Have a spectacular day, Ben.

I’m not sure all it was, was worrisome, you should read what you wrote again.
It really really didn’t come across as that and if you read it again it is basically you giving me an ultimatum.
Also the mail was titled time to think so Ava don’t try to back pedal, you thought I was just Ignoring you and I guess you didn’t like it? So tell me what you are really thinking?

We ended things. He sent me more of these e-mails… I eventually just stopped replying. I guess it was a break-up? But you know what the icing on the cake was?

He’s was in town last week.

I’m sorry…

For being me.

For disapearing and not being good to you.

For everything.

If you never wish to talk to me I understand.

Ben

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!!? Men need IQ tests before they being allowed out to play in the real world. ;-O

The Hoarder

I dated a hoarder for 3 months. I thought he was “still unpacking” but after the first month I began to question his excuse. His name was Dave. Tall, Blonde,  Handsome… Momma’s boy. He had no job, no car, no schooling; and his mother was paying his rent. Do we see an issue here? I do.

I put up with his habits for a little while. He was really the first guy I dated outside of college. I was still vulnerable and naive to what was really out there in the city. Recap: I went to school in a hick town in Ontario, Canada. The guys were all home grown country boys who had good values and bottomless stomachs for good’ol home cooking. This is what I was used too. Dave possessed these qualities for the first month then he started getting comfortable with me. Not cool.

Dave would invite me over, and we would stay in his bedroom laying in bed…. talking. I’m not trying to tell you to read between the lines, because after the first few times of making him cum and not receiving anything in return; I stopped putting out. He didn’t like this. And it was as if he was punishing me for it by purposely not cleaning his place before I would go over. You couldn’t see the floor.

I told him we should stop talking and never heard from him again.

Recently, I was in his area of the city and ran into him. He invited me back to his place for a beer and I accepted. I was in need of some attention after a long day of work, Why not? Dave had moved into a new building and I guess, I had hope that it was better than the last place. So we walked over; went through the door to the building; up the 14 flights of stairs; and then he opened the door. He shimmied through his front door because there was so much stuff in the  entrance. I simply walked away. Dave called out after me which got a glare followed by smile from me as I flew down the stairs and out the door. Never again.

After all, there’s got to be something more in life? Organize yourself.