Monthly Archives: January 2012

Fuck Friend

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Since when is sex before a relationship? This is something that has baffled me over the last few days. You would think that with the amount of deception and disease that people would be more cautious about who they allow in their pants; but society throws us in a completely different direction. I don’t understand.

Men say that they will respect you more if you make them wait… but it’s a lie. You can make them wait all you want; they’ll just find someone else in the meanwhile. So are people even true to others anymore? I was asked the other day about why I’m not more excited to go over to Bob’s- why I didn’t feel the need to pounce on him. Honestly, I like the guy… but if he makes sex too easy… I’m not interested. Does that make sense? Women are not supposed to be hunters; that’s the man’s identity. Then if you look at gender roles in society, I guess it really doesn’t matter who does what, right?

Moe told me last night that he just wants to be fuck-friends. “Modified Fuck-Friends” He’s from Ottawa and he’s living here with his mother for now until his hip heals. He was in a car accident a few weeks back. He wants a relationship with no strings. He took me on two dates. First of all you don’t sleep with the guy before three dates. Not a Cosmo “rule” just common sense because you really don’t know him that well before then. He’s still sticking his penis inside you… you want to know all that you can. An the longer he’s willing to wait the better. Means he respects your wishes more and that you come first before him.  Crucial in a relationship. I am a strong believer in being submissive to the man in the relationship but to what point do you sign over your freewill? Like I said before, if it’s too easy then it’s boring. I think back to the times in England in the midevil times when women didn’t know what pleasure was. Their mothers would tell them to lay back and think of England while their men would use them for their pleasure. Is history repeating itself?

That doesn’t work in my books. But he can’t seem to wrap his head around this. It’s frustrating.

I told him last night, I’m sorry that he landed on the young grasshopper who didn’t want to sleep around. He again told me that I should be proud of it… Is that not a double standard? “Be proud of yourself.. but I’m going to do my best to make you feel guilty for not wanting me” That’s basically the message that he’s sending me. No?

That’s two now. And at the same time, I’m questioning my methods. It’s never good to question yourself about anything.

On to the next one? I may take a break from dating.

Look-A-Like

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Remember a few posts back when I mentioned Michel? Well.. the guy I’m “dating” now… is an exact replica of him. He even smells like him. We went the to movies tonight.. and as I was curled up in his arms… It hit me that he’s Michel in another man’s body. Now, he’s Iranian… Michel was Lebanese. Pretty close!

He told me to get rid of Bob.. but tonight after the movie… When we were making out in my car.. I asked him what he wanted. This did not go as planned. He told me… “I can be a modified version of a Fuck Buddy” This was not the answer I was hoping for. He said “You know, I can fuck you and be there for you emotionally” Is that not what a relationship is?

My response: I can get sex anywhere… What I’m looking for is something more. Anyone can have sex with anyone with the right manipulation/words/tactics/amount of alcohol… I want that connection-The bestfriend who’s the fuck friend who’s eventually the fiance… who becomes the husband. I’m looking Long-term. Life is too short to simply settle for carnal pleasure.

His name is Mammed. What do I do? There is no way I’m going to sleep with him. But my oh my… I saw what he’s bringing to the table and on the way home he asked me, “does it eventually go away if you stop thinking about how horny you are?” And I replied, “Not at all, but I’m not looking for it. So why even acknowledge it if it’s not what I want” And his reply… “you should be proud of yourself for not giving into this. Most girls jump at anything with a cock when they’re excited”

Good move on his part.

 

3 AM – Bed time!